Our reporter heads to the discount store in hopes of glamming up his forehead, and shares the whole process in glorious GIF form.
Go Hattori is one of the most learned and experienced purveyors of 100-yen (US$0.90) store items in Japan – or at least on SoraNews24’s writing team. His recent success was creating an earthquake survival kit from nothing but 100-yen offerings, but he’s been known to splash out on all manner of cheap luxuries, from a fork designed just for pasta to hair-removal wax strips.
But this time Go wasn’t about removing hair. In fact, he’d been coveting an item to bolster his long, luscious lucks for a long time. When he found this product, “Hair Extension Bangs,” at a nearby independently-run store called Okuyama Shouhin, he nearly jumped for joy. While he’d tried other extensions before, this was the first time he’d seen one specifically targeted at that crucial forehead zone!
▼ Go’s 100-yen spoils: both the hair extension itself, and a pack of hair pins to better secure it
▼ As you can see the back of the hair extension requires hair pins so you can start off with a nice professional center-part, before clipping the extra hair in and arranging it to your taste
At long last, Go could sport the thick and bountiful bangs he’d always dreamed of! He was positively shaking with excitement as he tore the packet open to get at the treasure of tresses inside.
▼ And here’s the underside, with the typical mesh and clip set up so it can cling to what hair you already have.
A seasoned hair extension professional by this point, Go barely needed to glance at the back of the packet. He set to smoothing his hair down into a center part…
…and then slid the hairpins in to keep it in place.
Then all that was left was to jam that bad boy right over his forehead. Time for the mane… er, main event!
Go was taken aback by how natural it looked! No longer would he fear the inevitable encroachment of male-pattern balding. Nor would he have to completely retreat into the persona of his crossplay alter-ego Ray, who usually wears a cute and stylish wig. With this accessory he could flaunt his own hair with pride!
▼ L-R: Before, “Secret Middle Stage”, “After
▼ You’d never think it was fake, let alone that it cost 108 yen with tax!
But all great things must come to an end. Go combed his new hairdo with his fingers until he’d thoroughly exhausted the novelty, and then it was time to uncouple from it.
Unfortunately, the extension did have a hitherto unforeseen side effect. Once Go liberated himself from the mesh and hooks, he recoiled in horror…
Noooo! Now he looked even more bald than ever before! Just one, miserable trailing hair bisecting his forehead! The humanity of it all!
▼ Bonus epilogue image: a defeated samurai
Oh well, that’s the price you pay for a discount hair pin that gives you the illusion of bangs. Still, now Go is ready to hit the mean streets of Tokyo as a host whenever he likes, without the fear of being disparaged for his lack of hair! At least, until a customer tenderly brushes her hand through it… Good thing he bought all those hair pins.